


One Of The Drunks - Songfic

by HappyLadyLoki



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kinda depressing, Klaus gives me so many Panic at the Disco vibes don't judge me, Other, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 09:22:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18029099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyLadyLoki/pseuds/HappyLadyLoki
Summary: Klaus can't get out of this lifestyle of his. But he doesn't really want to, either. What's so wrong with trying to drown out the voices in his head?Written to One Of The Drunks by Panic! At The Disco.





	One Of The Drunks - Songfic

**Author's Note:**

> I should be writing my thesis so, of course, I wrote this. It's kinda depressing, so beware. This is just before the beginning of episode one, I suppose. It's probably best to listen to the song while you read it, idk.

It was five in the morning, again. He was out on the street looking for drugs, again. Just finished a party in a bar down the street, but most people were normal and had to leave. Because they had jobs, or something. Klaus didn’t have a job. The only thing he had was a hideous supernatural ability and the trauma that came with it.

_Orange juice, pour out half the carton_  
_Grey goose, pour it get it started_  
_Good times, remedy your sorrows_  
_Baptize, don’t worry ‘bout tomorrow_

Things were bad this evening. Everybody he came across was either sold out or actually just homeless trying to sleep. He was getting frustrated – he had no time to start becoming sober. He just wanted to be numb. To feel nothing. To hear nothing. 

_Shake it up, shake it up, now it’s time to dive in_  
_Share a cup, share a cup, now you’re screwdriving_  
_Every weekend with your friends, every weekday when it ends_  
_Damn, it’s all good, I guess_

He walked. And walked. Ben telling him not to do it, that he could handle this, that he just needed to get his life together. Klaus didn’t want to. He just wanted to do drugs until he overdosed and died. This life worked for him, not that it was much of a life. Partying was fun! He didn’t need a house or a job. He just needed to escape himself.

_This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks_  
_This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks_  
_Searching for a new high, high as the sun, uncomfortably numb_  
_This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks_

He didn’t feel sorry for himself as he stepped into a club he’d found that was still open. He didn’t, so neither should Ben. He didn’t have much cash on him, all that he did have was meant for drugs and not for alcohol, but it wasn’t like Klaus didn’t know how to get himself free drinks. He didn’t care what it took. Sex didn’t really have much meaning to him anymore. It was just a form of currency, really.

Within minutes he was downing shots of…well, he had no idea what it was, but he’d take it. Just to find peace. Just to forget. Not that he ever forgot, not anymore.

_Welcome to the club_

One drink became five, ten, and at some point everything became a blur. No more voices. No more ghosts. Not even Ben.

Shit, he was going to be sick.

_Never dry, everyday you’re thirsty_  
_Bourbon high, sip it till you’re tipsy_  
_Night’s young, searching for a feeling_  
_Big fun, dancing with the demons_

He woke up the next morning, no idea where he was. Indoors. In a bed. He’d lucked out this time, then.

As he got up, Ben turned to him. Klaus shook his head. He was not going to rehab. Not again.

_Holy spirit, holy spirit, grips you like a pistol_  
_Wet the whistle, wet the whistle, abyss of ice crystal_  
_Every weekend with your friends, every weekday when it ends_  
_Damn it’s all good, I guess_

On the street, the hunt was on again. Buying drugs during the day was rarely a success, but he knew a few places. He had no idea what time it was. All he knew was that Ben was hassling him more and more. It had been too long since Klaus had had a hit, he could tell. The more Ben talked, the more sober Klaus was.

_This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks_  
_This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks_  
_Searching for a new high, high as the sun, uncomfortably numb_  
_This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks_

Time had no meaning to Klaus anymore. His life was a whirlwind. He had no idea where he was half of the time. He would take whatever substance he could, but no matter how high he was, he still had nightmares. He could never get rid of those.

He’d finally managed to buy pills, not even bothering to get out of plain sight before taking them. He hadn’t counted them. He didn’t care. All he cared about was waiting until the evening hit, waiting until he could go to a party, waiting until he could stop being alone.

For someone so capable of conjuring hundreds of people if he tried, he sure was lonely.

_Welcome to the club_  
_Round and round and round and round and round and round_  
_Damn, it’s all good_

He’d had too many pills. He should have counted them. This was stupid, he didn’t want to overdose. He stumbled to the nearest phone booth and rang the ambulance, feeling like the stupidest idiot on the planet. Not necessarily because he could die, but more because this was going to send him back to rehab.

_Round and round and round and round and round and round  
Damn, it’s all good_

This was it. It wouldn’t get any better than this. Drugs, partying, overdose, rehab. It was a horrible chain of events he was trapped in. If he was honest with himself, though, he knew that even without his ability he’d be like this. If he could wish his powers away, he’d just be an addict. There was nothing left of him.

_I guess_

He was nothing.

_This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunk_  
_This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks_  
_Searching for a new high, high as the sun, uncomfortably numb_  
_This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks_

Nothing was going to get him out of this downwards spiral. If he stopped drinking, if he stopped using, maybe he could feel sad about it. But he wouldn’t let himself feel. This was no life, but Klaus was too stubborn to commit suicide. The thought rarely even crossed his mind.

Even if he went to rehab, he just counted the days until he could leave and get himself high again. He hated himself. No, that wasn’t true. He hated what his father had done to him. His powers were useless and only caused him grief. He felt sorry for Ben, too. Why couldn’t he just rest in peace?

_Welcome to the club_  
_Welcome to the club_  
_This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks_

He had no friends. He had no home. He had no family in his life. He only had himself and his self-hatred and trauma fuelled drug addiction. It was pitiful, but he didn’t want to stop. Not when the alternative was seeing dead people everywhere.

He knew he was disgusting and sad, but he didn’t have to think about it. He never would. He would keep going until he died without a care in the world, and he was fine with that as long as he wasn’t sober. Sobriety frightened him more than the voices in his head. Sobriety would bring not only the ghosts, but the emotions too. He was never going back.

That’s what he told himself, at least.

_Welcome to the club_


End file.
